My childhood home was unhappy… ok… it was terrifying. My father was an abusive alcoholic atheist and my mother was a harsh woman, angry at the Catholic Church. In an effort to escape this unhappy and confusing childhood home, I married young to—you guessed it—an alcoholic. After I gave birth to my son, my husband’s jealousy became unbearable and we divorced. I returned to college, uncertain if I was going to pursue a degree in art or in journalism. I landed on journalism because one of my art teachers laughed at a drawing I had made. As you can see, I gave it a lot of thought.
I did not receive Christ until my late 20s. I experienced the kind of conversion where everything instantly changed. A friend, a recent convert to Christianity, would visit for the sole purpose of preaching the gospel to me. And did she ever preach! I remember her standing in my doorway, and I promise that her head was wreathed in flames, insisting that I read the Bible.
Now, I found her very unsettling, so in an effort to make her go away, I claimed that I had read the Bible. Which wasn’t true. I had thumbed through it a few times. That was all. But then, I began to worry that she might start asking me questions. So, in case there was a test, I began to read, starting in Proverbs, a book that I still love. Then I moved on to the book of Matthew where I discovered that the Jesus I had heard about wasn’t the Jesus in the Bible.
After a struggle with the Holy Spirit, I surrendered. I recall looking out of the window, the morning after I had accepted Christ, and everything outside was in brilliant color. I had lived my life in a shadow without knowing it, because it was all I had ever known. What led me to write the Heart books… that’s an interesting journey. As you know, I am trained in journalism. While competing my undergraduate degree, I worked as senior editor for a residential home that cared for children with special needs. After graduation, I continued on to graduate school, receiving an MFA in writing. I considered pursuing a PhD in either education or communications, and did take some post-graduate courses in education while working as an editor in the School of Education. I was also free-lancing as a copy writer.
But, at the same time, I pastored a thriving children’s church. I had recently remarried and my new husband had won custody of his two young children. So, in the midst of navigating a blended family, which included the care of my intellectually challenged son and my pastoral responsibilities, I decided to step back from furthering my education so that I could focus on my family.
I must’ve really like school, because once the children were older, I enrolled in the Elijah House School of Prayer Ministry. Elijah House trains ministers to help people heal from childhood wounds. I followed this training with further study and mentorships in the field of inner healing. I began praying one-on-one with people seeking help. The Heart books, I think are a natural progression from all that has gone before.
Without inner peace you cannot have meaningful rest. And I think the rest that matters—that actually results in feeling safe, loved, and valued—is being able to rest in relationships, including your relationship with yourself, but also with others, and with God.
So why can’t we overcome our fearful, negative, anxious thoughts and emotions? There are certainly enough books and lectures on this topic available to us. We should all be anxiety free! But traditional and nontraditional approaches to achieving peace and rest fail. Or perhaps it is better to say that they do not produce “sustainable” results. You feel better for a little while but relapse quickly.
The Quiet Heart takes a unique approach to the problem. Medical researchers in the field of neurocardiology have discovered that the physical heart stores your belief system. This belief system was built as you navigated the ups and downs of early childhood. That this hidden childish belief system controls how you perceive life has been confirmed by these researchers. This understanding aligns beautifully with what the Bible teaches about the physical heart. We believe with the heart and the issues of life flow from the heart, scripture teaches.
In both the Old and New Testament, the word translated heart means the physical heart. The Quiet Heart teaches how to discover what you really believe within your heart. It teaches you how to recognize your childhood belief system, how to dismantle it, and how to rebuild it so that what you really believe aligns with what God says about you. This alignment results in sustainable peace and rest.
As far as books that can aid readers in their spiritual journeys, I think we have to start with a really good study Bible in the translation that you most enjoy. I’m fond of the New American Standard translation, but there are many other options. Because of the direction that my walk has gone, I mostly read books by authors in a similar ministry field. From that pool of work and for the Christian not in such a ministry, I recommend my two Heart books for building a solid foundation, then Restoring the Christian Family by John and Paula Sandford, and Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You by Dr. Jim Wilder.
For general reading, you just cannot go wrong reading C. S. Lewis. I love his The Great Divorce and his children’s books, of course, but I also recommend Mere Christianity. J. Lee Grady’s books on the woman issue are very insightful. Some readers might enjoy Immortal by Clay Jones. He examines all the, sometimes crazy, ways humanity attempts to achieve immortality. I am currently reading Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes by E. Randolph Richards and Richard James. It brings fresh understanding to those scripture passages that seem so mysterious to the western Christian.
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The Performing Heart: How to Escape the Trap of Relentless Performing and Enter the Security of God’s Rest
Are you tired of performing for acceptance? Sick of being an approval junkie and people pleaser? Exhausted from carrying everyone’s burdens while ignoring your own needs? Sounds like you are ready for the freedom and rest found in The Performing Heart. Journey with Susan Bowman, minister of inner healing and deliverance, as she skillfully guides you on an exploration of the secrets hidden within your heart. You will discover the reasons behind performance-based behaviors and how to escape their grip. Step-by-step and prayerful instructions will gently lead you into God’s promised rest. You can be free. You can rest.